Merger Mania

Are your investments in order? Below are some of the latest rumors from Wall Street. In the wake of the AOL/Time Warner deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:

  • Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
  • Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
  • 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
  • John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
  • Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
  • Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
  • Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine All Mine.
  • Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
  • Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
  • Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
  • 3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.
  • Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW!